Finding A Job
by LeNyanperona
Summary: "Finding money was hard. Finding a job was certainly harder." Like other humans, Kurapika needed money to live. Unlike some humans, he was a Hunter. KilluPika. KILLUPIKA. UPDATED - Chapter 5 ;D
1. Chapter 1

**AGAIN, THIS IS ANOTHER HUNTERXHUNTER FANFIC. I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY. BANANAS ARE COOL. THAT'S ALL. ENJOY :D**

**A/N: MY STATIONARIES CAN FLY!**

* * *

Finding money was hard.

Finding a job was certainly harder.

"Crap."

Kurapika sighed. He had less than a million Jennys with him. Which was enough to cover his rent and other expenses for only a couple of months.

He glanced again at the newspaper he was holding for the hundredth time. '_There's not even ONE job for a hunter. What's wrong with people nowadays?' _thought Kurapika impatiently. He decided to wait for a while as if some miracle like new jobs appearing on the newspaper would happen if he sat there and wait.

'_...Or I could work as a full-time waiter…'_ thought Kurapika. Those kind of jobs usually require no experience, but stamina to handle the customers, which Kurapika's full of.

He decided to take on a job at a cafe called Kirameki Cafe, which doesn't sound like a normal shop. He decided to take the job anyway, trying his luck. And, by the way, the pay is quite high too. 10,000 Jennys per hour. That amount would probably support him for a week.

* * *

Oh.

So, that's why.

Kurapika started walking out of the little shop, feeling disappointed that he didn't get a job, when the manager caught hold of his hand.

"Wait!" She panted. "We're really short of workers right now. Recently, a worker quit and it's just me and a few girls running the store. I would really appreciate it if you join us!" the manager explained, pleading.

Kurapika paused to think for a while. There was NO WAY he would dress up as a maid and serve customers with a cute 's absolutely NO FREAKING WAY on unicorn land he would do that.

"Please?"

On the other hand, he really needed money and there should be no problem working in a maid's clothes, right? Not unless someone noticed.

Well, if it's for the money, he had no choice.

"Fine, I'll take the job. But mind you, if you tell anyone about me, you'll regret it for the rest of your life."

The manager, who told Kurapika to call her Willa, took both of his hands and shook them, thanking him deeply while crying tears of joy.

Willa introduced him to three girls: Yuki, who has short black hair, Anna, who is the happy-go-lucky type and lastly Angel, who has a strong accent.

*Well, they seem discreet enough.* thought the blonde man.

"Yuki and Angel are in charge of cooking, while Anna, me, and you," she handed him some neatly-folded clothes, "are in charge of serving."

Kurapika's stomach did a somersault. He hoped that he had made the right choice.

"Kurapika, you'll start working next week okay? Please come early so I can show you the basics."

* * *

"No! It shouldn't be like that! Smile more sweetly, like you just enjoyed a sweet, tasty dessert!"

Kurapika tried smiling again, glancing uncomfortably at his new uniform.

He had started working just this morning and he's learning how to serve customers. Or more like he's forced to. Anna was scolding him just because he couldn't smile.

"No, no, no!"

Kurapika sighed and decided to smile again for the last time. If he couldn't please the noisy woman, he would walk away from the shop on the spot.

"No-"

That's it.

"Wait, try it again."

Kurapika sighed but gave it his best shot.

"Yeah, yeah... That's it!" Anna squealed, pinching Kurapika's cheek, which made *him* squealed.

"Anna!" Kurapika shouted, pissed. No one ever touches him. Never. Never ever. Actually, that's why he liked wearing thick clothes. So nobody will ever, ever, EVER touch him.

Kurapika swatted off the girl's hands swiftly, frowning at her. "Don't ever, EVER, do that again."

Anna shrugged. "You have to work on your attitude too, you know. That cold expression of yours will definitely not get you a girlfriend. Let alone a customer." With that, she tossed Kurapika long, coconut-like yellow stuff, which resembled a hair. Out of curiosity, he straightened it.

Shit.

"What is this?" Kurapika stared at the thing on his hand.

"A wig, obviously."

"Of course I know it's a wig! I mean, what is this doing here?"

"Wear it."

"WHAT?!" Kurapika shouted again.

"Well, this is a maid cafe, and you have to dress-up as a girl because this is a maid cafe." Anna sighed. Was this dude an idiot?

Kurapika snorted at the wig which matched his own blonde hair in disgust. He's already wearing a maid outfit and now he had to wear a wig? What kind of job is this?!

Money. Money. He's doing this for the money. Nothing else. Only money.

The blonde man took a deep breath and forced the wig on his hair. Damn this thing is strangling him.

"You do realize that that thing is a wig and not a hat, right?" Anna commented, raising an eyebrow.

"Of course. I'm not stupid." came the reply.

As if he's proving his point, Kurapika tried combing the wig using his fingers desperately, while fitting his head in it at the same time.

"There!" He raised his head triumphantly. "Done."

The brunette rolled her eyes. "Nice. You have your way with wigs, I see."

"Let's just start with whatever stuffs we have to do." He frowned, not believing the fact that he had just wore a wig and he's still wearing it.

"I see you got your working mode on." She smiled. "Keep it up, hopefully you'll attract more customers. Now, go and unlock the doors. We're opening."

Kurapika gritted his teeth. It hadn't been an hour but he'd already started hating this job. First of all, he didn't like to be bossed around and second, this dress was literally killing him! Kurapika hated the cold, and that was one more reason why he wore thick clothes. He shivered when a cold wind swept between his legs as he opened the store entrance.

**THERE. CHAPTER 1 DONE. I'LL UPDATE IT AS SOON AS I FIGURE OUT HOW TO UPLOAD A NEW CHAPTER. HAVE A MEOW-Y DAY EVERYONE!**


	2. Chapter 2

**MISS ME? XD**

**I AM SO SO SO SO SO SO SORRY THAT I AM UNABLE TO UPDATE THIS AS SOON AS I COULD. AND AND AND CREDITS TO HYPERYUKI FOR TEACHING ME HOW TO UPLOAD A NEW CHAPTER! YOU GUYS SHOULD REALLY THANK HER BECAUSE IF YOU DON'T, I COULDN'T HAVE UPDATED THIS CHAPTER. BANZAI! BANZAI! BANZAAII!**

**A/N: THOU SHALL NOT WORRY, HUMAN RACE. FOR I HAVE CAUGHT A COLD.**

* * *

It was another refreshing morning here in York New City. The weather was nice too. Even the birds were in a good mood.

NOT.

It had already been a week since he started working at the cafe, and Kurapika was getting quite used to working in a maid's clothes already.

NOT.

Argh! What was he thinking?! Working in a maid cafe doesn't suit a blacklist Hunter like him!

He grunted loudly behind the counter, making the customers glance at him uncomfortably.

"That look wouldn't earn you a girlfriend." a voice said, followed by a sharp jab on the elbow from Anna to Kurapika with regards.

Of course, not used to getting surprised before, the blonde Kuruta shrieked.

That was what was _meant _to happen. But, Kurapika, being an expert in using Nen, could detect her aura in just less than a second.

He felt his eyes glowing. He spun around on his heels (GYAHAHAH!). "What's with you and girlfriends?!"

"Geez, girl, aren't you in a bad mood today?"

"Well, I wouldn't be if someone hadn't poked me for at least a hundred times since this morning!" he hissed at her. "And stop calling me 'girl'! I have a p*nis, you know."

"Hush! You'll disturb the customers!" she hissed back, blushing slightly.

"Blahblahblah..."

The sound of the bell tinkling, signifying that the door was pushed open, startled Kurapika and Anna from their argument. Automatically, the Kurta's mouth bubbled out a 'Welcome' without meaning to.

He facepalmed himself. Now THAT was stupid.

Kurapika glanced at Anna, who had already seated the customers who came earlier. He was about to advert his gaze onto something else when one of the customers who just came in caught his eye. He squinted his eyes at the three figures. Somehow, they looked quite familiar. Like he'd seen them before.

'Killua' was the first thought that appeared on his mind.

The blonde man rubbed his eyes. Was he seeing things or was that Killua? And Gon and Leorio?

"Ne, why a maid cafe?" A shota-like boy asked.

"You'll understand when you'll grow up." Replied a deeper voice.

"Okay. But why a maid cafe?"

A boy with silver hair interrupted. "Yeah, I would rather die."

"But you followed us here anyway."

"That's because I'm hungry, Gon." snapped back the silver-haired boy, pissed.

Kurapika widened his eyes.

Yep, he was definitely seeing things.

First of all, the tall guy _looked _like Leorio, but his face was a bit... Weird. It's like he had more hair than the last time that Kurapika saw him.

And the person whom he thought was Killua had a face similar to the Killua he knew, but he looked much more... Grown up. So was Gon.

He'd been sure that these were his Hunter friends. Yet... suddenly he wasn't so sure anymore. They looked, _different._

"As I said, why a maid cafe?" asked 'Gon'.

"Like _I _said, you'll understand it when you're much much much much much older."

The boy with the silver hair snorted when 'Leorio' whistled at a few ladies behind them. And that snort changed Kurapika's mind all over again. No one else could snort like that.

KILLUA.

Kurapika froze. It WAS them. His Hunter friends that he hadn't saw for a few years now. No wonder they looked weird. They GREW UP.

Kurapika snapped his attention and stared at a reflection of himself on the smooth marble counter, recalling what Anna and the others said about his face resembling a girl. 'I do look like a girl...' he said to himself. Would his friends still recognise him after 5 years?

Fortunately, they did not show any signs of recognition.

Yet.

The blonde Kurta began to panic. What if they saw him? He wouldn't want to reconcile with his old friends dressed up in a maid outfit. He's too proud and egoistic to do that. Well, it seems impossible that they'll notice him. But, on the other hand, Killua and Gon both had good eyesights. They would spot him right away.

What should he do?

Well, for now, the most normal and logical thing to do now is run.

Haha.

Like he'd ever do that.

Kurapika Kuruta, the one who had killed two of the Phantom Troupe's members, would never, ever run.

NEVER.

Unless neccessary.

Let's see. For example, like right now.

Kurapika took one last glance towards the trio before moving his gaze towards the long, silky curtain in front of him.

Just what he needed.

He started to step towards the long piece of cloth. But before he could even move, a hand grabbed Kurapika's collar and pulled him, dragging him across the floor like a weak little puppy.

"Anna!" Kurapika squirmed. "Stop pulling me! Lemme go!"

"Umm, hello? I think you forgot something." Anna glanced at the stack of menus, hinting him that it was his turn to serve the customers.

"What?" Kurapika asked, clueless.

" Oh gosh. Do I have to tell you everything?"

"Of course! I don't know what this," he rolled his eyes, imitating Anna who was just a while ago doing the same thing. "means."

"Oh God, help me."

She pulled the dumbfounded Kuruta towards the stack and handed him a few menus. "Go and serve _them_. And don't come back until you're done." She pointed at a certain table.

"_Fine_." Kurapika pouted and began walking towards the direction that Anna had pointed.

And that's when he saw _them._

"Shit."

* * *

**I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE THINKING RIGHT NOW. WHY THE **_***CENCORED**__**CRAP***_** IS KURAPIKA BEHAVING LIKE A GIRL?! HUSH, PEOPLE, **_**HUSH**_**. THE ANSWER IS: **_**BECAUSE I WANT HIM TO! **_**XP ANYWAAAY, LEAVE A REVIEW, PLEASE? I WOULD REALLY APPRECIATE IT :D**


	3. Chapter 3

**I MADE THIS CHAPTER LONGER. WOOHOOOOO! :9**

**THANK YOU SO SO SOOOOOOOOOO MUCH FOR THE WONDERFUL REVIEWS! :3 YOU GUYS DON'T EVEN WANNA KNOW HOW INSANE I GOT WHEN I RECEIVED A SIMPLE MAIL THAT SIMPLY SAID "A NEW REVIEW HAD BEEN..." I HEART YOU GUYS! ***_**INSERT HEARTS HERE***_** :D**

**A/N: FINDING A JOB CHAPTER 3 WILL NOW START! /(0w0)/**

* * *

Good ol' Anna, asking him to serve random people whenever she liked. How nice. How veryveryveryveryvery kind of her. Oh, how he wished he had brought his knife with him. Wait, screw knives. He should've brought his axe.

And apparently, those random people happen to be his friends.

Great. Just what he needed.

Kurapika's first instinct was to run. Of course, he had already thought of that, but if he do it now, it'll only gain more attention on himself. And he did _not_ want that to happen. So that's obviously a no.

His second instinct, however, was to serve them anyway and do an instant introduction like, "Hi there, what would you like to eat? I'm a girl by the way, not a guy. I probably look familiar to you don't I...?"

...

...

…

…

...

NO. THAT WON'T WORK.

"Um, hello, can we ask for the menu, please...?" boomed a deep voice, startling Kurapika from his escape plan. _'Damn it, you stupid Leorio_.' Kurapika thought.

Anna tsked and caught Kurapika's attention, glaring deadly at him. And if looks could kill, there would already be murder.

He gained his posture again and thought to himself. Why is he getting all worked up for? Yeah, well, of course, this maid outfit was embarrassing (on top of that, he was wearing a wig with ponytails! Not to mention about the pink, frilly ribbons- okay I'll stop.) but that shouldn't be an obstacle for him to meet his old friends, right? Now that he thought about it, he kinda missed Gon's innocent remarks and such. And, even though Leorio sometimes pisses him with his never-ending irritating insults, he's still- Nah, Leorio's just plain annoying. So sosososo annoying that it ticks the blonde off. If he wasn't the calm and collected kind of guy, Kurapika would've punched him square in the face the moment he first met him.

And lastly, Killua. Killua, too, was included in his imaginary _'The Top Ten People Who Annoys Me The Most_' list. And he's also a real pain in the ass when it comes to sweets and chocolates. Plus, the ex-assassin rarely talked to him as much as he did towards Gon, but then why did Kurapika somehow felt so conscious around him?

He pondered himself with the question as his legs carried him closer and closer towards the trio as we speak. Yes, he had to serve them whether he liked it or not. He doesn't seem to have any choices anyway. Curse 'em money.

Back to the topic. Kurapika had first noticed about the conscious feeling right after the Hunter Exam where Killua had gone missing. He remembered Gon's agitated face and Leorio's- he couldn't quite recall Leorio's face but he was sure that he's there at that time. And he remembered himself, wandering around recklessly and aimlessly every night like a drunken man with all the veins and muscles popping out on his temple, showing how worried he was against Killua's disappearance. And that exact moment when they found Killua, something stirred deep inside the Kuruta. He wasn't quite sure what it was but he knew that it carried a deep- Meaning? Burden?Feeling? Well, we'll never know for now.

Kurapika blinked. He was already standing beside the trio's table. Automatically, he took out a piece of paper which had sakura prints on them with a pink pen to match.

"Hi, welcome to Kirameki Cafe." he greeted them with his usual cheerful smile and handed them the menus. There was no turning back now. He just _had_ to do it.

He continued bluntly, running between words. "May I take your order, please? And, oh, by the way, in case you're wondering, I am positive that I am not a gu-"

Kurapika cut himself short and slammed his free hand on his mouth, eyes open wide. Oh God. Did he just say what he thought he said? He scanned his friends' faces for any surprised or shocked expressions. Nothing.

The blonde sighed in relief. The trio didn't hear anything. They were too busy staring at the menus to notice what a mere 'waitress' had to say. Somehow, the thought pissed Kurapika off.

"Finally! We've been waiting for hours, you know that?! This cafe's services sucks." Leorio bursted, before eyeing Kurapika from head to toe. His gaze then landed on Kurapika's flat chest. "And your chest is really puny. Hey, maybe you should try this xxxxx breast pad. The brand really works! Or a push-up bra, maybe…?"

Kurapika mentally snorted at him in disgust. No wonder Leorio didn't have any girlfriends. Talk about manners. This old man is a real damn pervert. If he saw Leorio again in his own normal clothes, remind him to beat Leorio into a pulp. Oh yeah man feel the pain lol.

"Ossan, learn some manners, would ya?" Killua gritted his teeth, aiming a clenched fist at him. "That's a woman you're talking to."

"Well, would you look at that." Leorio replied, scoffing at Killua's comment. "A person with zero manners, trying to teach a well-educated person like me about etiquettes. I expected better from you Killua. I really did."

"Come over here and say it directly to my face, you perverted bastard." Killua's face was red from rage. Oh man. Leorio's so gonna get it.

"You two, quit it! What would Kurapika do if he was here?!" Gon told them off, kicking both of his friends' shins under the table.

'_Oh yeah, Gon let them have it_.' Kurapika chuckled, making the trio spin their heads at her- whoops, him. "So, may I have your order, please?" Kurapika smiled, suddenly feeling light-hearted.

"Sorry about earlier, ma'am." Gon laughed. "I hope you don't feel ticked off by these two."

'_Don't worry Gon, I already am._' "It's okay. I don't mind at all."

"Really? Well, that's a relief. Oh, I would like to have the salmon cheesecake (?!) please. And a bottle of water. How about you two?" Gon shifted his eyes on Leorio and Killua, who, somehow, had magically stopped fighting and had returned their gazes back at the menu.

Killua rose up his head from the menu and turned to look at Kurapika. "Do you happen to have any sweets her- wait. Is that a chocolate cake I see?" he stood up from his seat and started making his way towards a cake stand, muttering 'chocolate, chocolate' again and again. '_Well, at least that part of Killua still hasn't changed. I wonder if it's good or bad_?' Kurapika smiled to himself.

"Told you they had desserts. One large chocolate cake for that imp over there." Leorio pointed at the 'imp' he was talking about who was drooling over a chocolate moist cake. "As for me, a chicken sandwich would be great."

Kurapika quickly jotted down on the paper he's holding. "Please wait while you're food is being prepared." (lol he sounded like a... Like a…... Ah! Nevermind :3)

The blonde Kurta then walked towards the kitchen and placed an order on Yuki and Angel, and thanking them before going out and leaning against the counter once again.

Well, that wasn't too bad, was it? He totally pulled that off smoothly. He was worried about nothing! A big clap for Kurapika Kuruta, everyone! He deserved it. Somebody should really give him an award or something. A medal at least. (:9)

But something felt wrong. He felt different. The blonde maid should've been discovered by now. He touched his face which was, well, _decorated_ here and there with make-ups of all kinds of colours. Did he really look _that_ different from before? Or does Gon and Killua needed a medical eye check-up?

Kurapika glanced back at team Gon. The spiky haired kid was busying himself trying to get Killua's ass back on the chair and Leorio was just doing his thing as usual- staring around, drooling over huge-chested women. A hand landed on his shoulder made Kurapika jump. He wasn't expecting that.

"Ne, why were you freaked out just now?" Anna asked and walked to the other side of the counter, nonchalantly chewing on a gum.

Kurapika protested at the question. That was so not true. "I was _not_ freaked out."

"Yes, you were. You were like walking stiffly like an old man trying to cross the road." the brunette rolled her matching brown eyes, waddling with her arms pinned against her like a retarded penguin.

"I do _not_ walk like an old man. Take that back." He pouted.

"Oh yes you do."

"Look. A rat!" Kurapika exclaimed sarcastically, hoping to drop down the subject as soon as possible before he was found out.

Panic-stricken, Anna swiftly scanned around for a tiny furry creature -she hated tiny furry creatures. Don't ask me why.- before realizing that the man was lying. "Haha, very funny, Kurapika." she slapped his back. "Anyway, are they your friends or something?"

Anna had read through him. "That's for me to know and you to find out." Kurapika said coldly, crossing his arms over his chest.

Ignoring the nasty remark, she grinned mischievously. "I'll take that as a yes then."

"Whatever- H-hey what are you doing?!"

"Trying to get you to introduce me to them. What does it look like I'm doing?" She pulled the blonde's arm, and he yanked it away harshly, frowning. "Hell no! As if I would do that."

"Oh come on, don't be such a spoilsport." Anna tried to reason with him. "Unless..."

"What?"

"Tell me the white-haired boy's name." she squealed suddenly, grabbing onto Kurapika's pale hand while jumping up and down. "Tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me! Please?"

"Why should I?" he pulled his precious arm away for the second time of the day. "And don't touch me!"

"You should." Anna blushed slightly. She then started giggling like a school girl. Glancing back at Killua, Anna whispered straight into Kurapika's ear softly so that no one could overhear them. "Because I think I like him."

* * *

**I MADE LEORIO A BAD GUY HERE. SORRY LEORIO FANS! :D HIT ME ALL YOU WANT, JUST DON'T KILL ME. BECAUSE I HAVE A DOG TO FEED. AND A CAT. AN IMAGINARY FLYING POP-TART SHAPED NYAN CAT DARTING ACROSS SPACE IN MY ROOM WITH RAINBOWS ALL OVER THE CARPET. I LOVE MY CAT. d('w')b**

**ANYWAY, MIND TO DROP A REVIEW?:3 DON'T WORRY, IT WILL ONLY WASTE FIVE SECONDS OF YOUR FUJOSHI LIFE! :9**


	4. Chapter 4

**Thanks for the reviews and faves! :3**

**A/N: I'm giving up on caps lock :I**

**Warning: OOC-ish Kurapika. It's only for this chapter, so don't worry. If he went berserk and became OOC-ish again, I promise you guys, THERE. WILL. BE. MURDER. Or possibly a decrease in salary (^w^)**

**Kurapika : YOU DON'T EVEN PAY ME, YOU BRUTE.**

**Moi: Really? Well, let's just get going with the first option then. I wonder where did I put that (cardboard) chainsaw? Hm...**

**Kurapika: Oh, on second thought, I'll treat you to a lifetime supply of ice-creams... AND a Nyan Cat plushie. How about that? ("=w=)/**

**Killua: OOC-ish Kura-chan is kinda cute. (0w0)**

**Moi: OMFG. *virtually nosebleeds***

* * *

Kurapika noticed that he was glancing at Killua for the thousandth time that day. He couldn't help it. There was something about Killua that Kurapika couldn't put a finger into.

It's not like he'd completely fallen for the shota killer, right? Of course he hadn't! He wouldn't even bat an eyelid if Killua peed in his pants and asked for his help. Okay, its not likely for Killua to ask assistance from anyone but Kurapika wouldn't help him anyway. Well, fine, maybe that's a lie. The Kurta _might_ just help him. Maybe. Just maybe. .

Anyway, like he'd said before, he's not really that close to Killua. Gon is. Why? Because of reasons. Like that one time when that imp stole a couple thousand Jennys from the blonde, saying that it was only a _'teeny weeny'_ amount of money, just to buy a mountain of limited edition chocolates. And what did the Kurta get, you ask? One full month cleaning up chocolate wrappers. Oh. Joyy.

Well, it's not like Kurapika hated the imp. Oh gosh, no. He wouldn't loathe his own allies. (Leorio's an exception. Kurapika doesn't even treat him as a human) But Killua's different. He had his own charm which made the blonde desperately urge to send him flying with a single kick but held back _'willingly'_ instead. Why, you ask again? No, its not a crush. The man just had this conscious feeling to be alert around Killua, a sense of overprotectiveness swelling up in his chest every time the silver haired boy was with him. What was the word? Ah, yes... He cough_cared_cough for Killua. Or more presicely, he coughcoughsplutter_liked_cough Killua. Well, that explains the conscious feeling.

_"Because I think I like him."_

"Ya _think_?" Kurapika let out a scoff, snapping back to reality while raising a perfectly curved eyebrow.

"Yeah." Anna gave him a glare. "What's wrong with that?"

"Ah. Girls and their fantasies. How childish." Kurapika said, clearly ignoring Anna's question while stretching out as far as he could, easing his stiff back.

"Pft. Like you haven't had any." Anna rolled her eyes, scoffing in the process.

"No. I'm a sophisticated, grown man who posessed incredible knowledge and wisdom."

"PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF FFFFFFFT." Anna bursted, laughing so hard that tears came from the corners of her eyes. She couldn't help it; he sounded so sure of himself yet so sarcastic. "I don't see anything funny in that, so shut it." Kurapika responded, pissing Anna off. She tugged rather harshly at the Kurta's blonde wig, causing it to slip off from his head. He quickly reached out to fix the wig back on his head. _'Shit...'_ Kurapika silently cursed while Anna smirked dangerously, making it seem like she was going to rip his head off instead of the wig. "Sophisticated, eh? Let's fix that."

Just after she said that, Leorio called out to Kurapika in a _veery_ loud voice. "Oi, that chest-less waitress! Where's my sandwich?!"

Kurapika gritted his teeth. If you haven't noticed, he's the only one who's flat-chested among the staffs. Just telling :3 He clenched both his hands into a tight fist, cursing under his breath.

And he had thought that this job only required stamina.

Anna noticed his tightly clenched fists."Hey, if you're worried about something like that, try drinking milk. Barrels and barrels of 'em. Oh, and don't wear anything confining around your chest. They stunt your growth."

_Lolwhut._

Kurapika smiled at Anna, who noted at how creepy and disturbing the smile became as his left eye twitched."If you speak of this ever again, my dear, sweet Anna, I would _carefully_ rip off that arm and _gently_ shove it down your throat and then watch happily as you choke and die."

The brunette gasped, her eyes as big as saucers. "You wouldn't even _dare_."

"Watch me."

Anna slowly shifted her way to the kitchen before frantically yelling out a desperate cry of "WILLAAA!"

_'Well, that's one problem solved.'_ Kurapika grunted. It still amazed him at how he's able to deal with her for the past week. The blonde heard another yell, this time coming from a man as the voice was much more deeper compared to Anna's annoyingly high-pitched one. A vein popped out from his temple.

Ah, right. Leorio and his sandwiches.

"Coming!"

"You'd better! Ain't gonna like the sound of my tummy grumblin' now, wouldya?"

Kurapika snorted in disgust, his eyebrows knitting together at Leorio's comment. He never would've thought that he'd hate sandwiches this much in his life. Ah, damnation. How he couldn't wait to get out from this damn costume and rip Leorio's annoying head off. Oh, don't forget about his perverted hands. Or, _better_, he should just disarrange his whole form. The blonde smirked. Should he use a Swiss Army knife or a rifle. He grinned, thinking of ways to _**literally**_ torture that old man. But... Wait, wouldn't that make him as much perverted as Leorio was?

Kurapika shook his head forcefully, trying to think about other stuffs - other happy stuffs as he disappeared into the kitchen and came out with a variety of food on a daintily decorated pink tray. And if that wasn't embarrasing enough, Yuki had given him a piece of her mind about scaring Anna off and made him wear that frilly white thing on his wig. Or _'shit'_, as Kurapika called it.

He trotted towards his friends' direction again, this time feeling less nervous. Instead, a new feeling took over him - an eager feeling, as he knew that in a few milliseconds he would be facing his, um, lover? Oh ew, nonono, that's too perverted (pft). How about crush? That's a no too. It made him sound like he's an obsessive stalker.

Kurapika let his mind wander and wasn't focusing on where he was stepping on and tripped on a grey wire which was dragged across the floor to the other end of the shop due to technical problems in the kitchen.

A loud banging sound of the tray followed by a crashing sound caused by the cups and glasses reached Kurapika's ears. But that was nothing compared to the gasps and mutters from around the cafe, for Kurapika had caused a lamp stand to topple down and that too, met its end.

Kurapika sat up and rubbed his throbbing head as his vision cleared, and all he could see was his friends' stares on him and that the familiar feeling of the wig's bangs looming over his forehead were amiss.

Glancing down, he saw that his, ehemboxers were exposed for the public to see.

Oh, how he regretted even bothering about the sandwiches.

* * *

**Kurapika : What is this crappery?! I demand an explanation! :O**

**Moi : Its called fanservice *winks at readers* And there's more to come :D PREPARE TO SUFFER. *insert image of chainsaws here***

**Kurapika : EEEK! 0_0 *runs away***

**Sorry for the late update btw ehehe (=w=") I crapped this chapter -.- I'll update once I get 3 positive reviews on this chapter :D**


	5. Chapter 5

**I'm BAAAAAAAACK! (^0^)/**

**A/N: No OOC-ness**_**,**_** as promised.**

**Nah, just kidding :D**

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"Mommy, mommy, look! He's wearing the same underwear as Daddy's!"

A little girl squealed, who, at the same time, was clutching the hem of her mother's shirt while using her free hand to point at the incident. It was all so sudden, she couldn't help but to shriek at the mishap occurred right before her innocwent eyes :3

Silence filled the room as soon as the words escaped those tiny lips. Wordless gasps and frowns of astonishment hovered over the atmosphere in almost every corner of the room as everyone exchanged panic and shocked glances.

"Honey, hush down for now, okay? Mommy will buy some sweets for you later."

And there, _right in the middle of the store_, sat a totally messed-up, torn apart Cinderelley when she found out that her Fairy Godmother had not only lied to her, but had also changed her back into her ugly self. And it's not even twelve in the midnight! How intolerably despicable!

…

…

…

…

...

TEEHEE ^w^

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**Kurapika: **That's it. _I'M_ telling the story from now on. SHOO YOU STUPID AUTHOR.

**Moi: **NO. I WILL NOT LET YOU CHANGE MUH FABULOUS PLOT, YOU–

**Kurapika**: Without further ado, let's start MY VERSION of how I did _**NOT**_ fall and humiliate my smexy self right in front of approximately 20 people. HAJIMENASAI~!

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True, I, Kurapika, did not fall onto the stupid freaking ceramic tiles. For all of us know that I am a dignified sexay grown-up man. Oh, and Leorio was never in the story in the first place. So was Anna. Nuff said.

So anyway, I was strolling down the beautiful clear stream that seemed to match my own cerulean blue eyes. It was so calm and peaceful there; the only sound that could be heard is the rushing of the water splashing against the rocky depths-

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**Moi:** GTFO FROM MUH COMPUTER RIGHT NOW AND GO MAKE YOUR OWN ACCOUNT.

**Kurapika:** Fine then, you now have no right to put me in your fan fiction.

**Moi:** ….. KILLUA.

**Kurapika: **SHHHHHHH! Okay, okay,_ fine,_ I'll back off geez dammit. (-/-)

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"A man?!"

The blonde was dumbfounded. Speechless. Wordless. No, he was currently feeling much worse than even when those three combined. He could clearly see his own reflection staring back at him through the marble floor, every ounce of blood racing to his face. He felt like exploding and bursting on the spot; it was so humiliating. And if that wasn't embarrassing enough for you, his 20 inch long wig that was used to cover that boyish hair of his fell, as the feeling of the wind blowing against his own natural blonde hair made him shiver.

Customers began walking out from the door, while some remained, still staring in disbelief at what happened. Who wouldn't be? I mean, your usual, friendly (not), cute (hmm, no), pretty (not really) waitress suddenly revealed to the world that she was a guy. What person wouldn't feel cheated? Who wouldn't feel tricked? Why am I asking these pointless questions? Lol jk :D

Kurapika kept his head low for the entire time, silently picking up the broken shards and pieces of glass scattered on the floor, aware that his friends' intense stares were on him the whole time, either from shock or amazement he didn't know. But the Kurta knew that he was not brave enough to bring himself to meet their confused gazes, for it hurt him to see those eyes with hints of betrayal _(what)_ in them, especially Gon's.

Excusing himself, he tried to stand up, but in vain as his legs carried too much humiliation for him to even kneel (LOLWUT). Fortunately, Anna, who had rushed right after she heard the crash, offered to support her friend as she wound an arm around the poor guy.

The egoistic blonde tried backing away; this was beyond his limit. He wasn't used to being touched by other people, but currently at the moment, Anna was his only pillar of strength.

Stares continued to intensify as Kurapika hobbled slowly, his head still down, when suddenly out of nowhere a voice said out loud, breaking the silence along with the tension gathered in the atmosphere.

"So what? We don't care if it's a man, right guys?"

Not caring about how he would look anymore, Kurapika jerked his head towards the all too familiar voice which was followed by some approving whispers. The voice that he knew so well. The voice that had tagged along with him the whole time during the Hunter Exam. (Um... I'm not sure about this one... Blegh. Ima crap this :I)

_Killua._

Their eyes met each other for almost ten seconds before Kurapika blinked several times, not believing what he just saw.

A smirk was beautifully carved and plastered onto the ex-assassin's pale face. If it was still five years ago, he would've just ripped that glorious, teasing smirk. But now, because of coughcertaincough_feelings_, Kurapika was not sure if he still wanted to tear it away from that arrogant yet precious face. In fact, he almost thought that the smirk was quite beautiful somehow, despite Killua's unbearably devious and gleeful character. But that's not the point. The point is that, that smirk... It's like he'd seen it somewhere before... Where had he seen it? He rummaged through his brains but could only retrieve blurry memories from the past.

Then it struck him. It hit him so hard that he nearly collapsed. Heat crawled up to his face again when realization took over. His knees wobbled, as if it was going to give in sooner or later. _'T-that's impossible… H-he couldn't…'_

Killua knew it all along.

_**He knew it all along.**_

Kurapika went pale until his skin tone was that of a ghost's. And it was not helping that his stomach was squeezing itself into a tight knot, forcing his guts out that tiny, fragile body, as his mind repeated what had just registered moments ago again and again. And again. And again until he felt like committing suicide.

As much as he wanted to smash his head off against the nearest pole, Kurapika still managed to keep his cool and tried to control his breathing. Telling himself to '_snap over it'_, he inhaled a large gust of oxygen to clear his Killua-fogged mind.

Blinking back to earth, he glanced back nervously at Killua, palms glistening with sweat as he silently prayed that the ex-assassin would just stfu and gtfo from there, before looking at the remaining customers, swiftly studying their reactions as if to scan if anyone tried to call the police or something. Some had their rape masks on (_especially _Leorio), some were so confused that they poured syrup right into their coffee instead of those creamy pancakes without even realizing it, while some were even star struck, daring and challenging each other to inquire about _'maid-kun's'_ personal information, e.g. phone number etc etc.

"Yeahh. So what if it's a man? We're okay with it." said a group of pedos sitting beside the entrance, drooling over Kurapika's flawless legs with faces that kinda look like this one (=/w/=). Kurapika shuddered. _Great._ Now a bunch of Leorios just appeared out of nowhere. What is wrong with society nowadays?

Kurapika's face started to swell and was getting redder and redder every second like that of a tomato as he experienced his first ever blush in public. _'This is humiliating. Somebody just stab me right now.' _Kurapika thought, his mind rushing to get to the safety of the kitchen from the public's eyes but his legs prevented him to do so. Plus his body was tense and his mind was blank, full of nothing but Killua, Killua and more KILLUA.

_That bastard._

The warm, fuzzy feeling he experienced just a few minutes ago dissolved into the nothingness deep inside his heart, buried along with his rage in just milliseconds. His brows furrowed deeper every time the size of Killua's smirk increased.

'_That stupid, loathsome devil.'_

Kurapika thought of the reason why he wanted so badly to get a job and got into this one (unfortunately), and how he was forced to fight his pride by wearing a stupid wig and the shitting outfit. He pondered about how he was forced into treating customers cutely and how he tripped and fell _right in the middle of the cafe. _And it all of it eventually comes down to one person : _Killua._

As soon as he walked back to the kitchen (well, _Anna_ walked and he hobbled), the man began listing out all the things that Killua had made him gone through. Because of the imp, Kurapika :

a) couldn't drink his coffee without thinking of Killua;

b) couldn't concentrate on everything he was doing (also the reason why he tripped);

c) couldn't watch a documentary about sunflowers in peace;

d) hated the fact that he dislikes sweets;

e) humiliated himself in public;

f) wouldn't dare to get near Killua unless necessary;

g) doubted that he could die peacefully.

When he thought about all that again, his hatred started to grow, along with his eyes which were beginning to turn into a shade of gray-ish red. He cursed and spat silently to himself; Kurapika knew he shouldn't have fell for the white-haired boy; it was wrong and he hate_**d**_ – no, _loath_**ed** that imp. And as a result, he got carried away – too carried away, if you ask me – and took things for granted. The blonde thought that they both have mutual feelings for each other, but the smirk earlier told him that it was nothing but a freaking lie. If he hadn't been overly self-conscious he wouldn't have fallen for the Zoaldyeck, and he wouldn't have to go through all this – including having to deal with countless broken dishes and glasses along with numerous mishaps – just for that one stupid, lucky bastard.

"You okay?" Anna asked, her voice sounded concerned. Kurapika didn't take note of this, however, and spat back rudely at the brunette, his voice and body raging with fury, yet his face remained solemn.

"_**SHUT UP."**_

Ignoring the furious tone in the Kurta's voice, Anna rolled her eyes, muttering out a soft 'fine then,' before proceeding to the counter, leaving a very angry, confused Kurta alone with his mixed thoughts.

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Anna had delivered the trio's orders in Kurapika's place hastily, and they finished them just as fast. She noted at how Leorio tucked his food _disgustingly_ with gusto as she tried to restrain herself from barfing rainbows all over the floor :3

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**A/N: Crappy, I know :'(**


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